A Habit You Simply MUST Develop

Mindfulness and Meditation

WHAT EXACTLY IS MINDFULNESS?
Mindfulness is not just a way of thinking about others and their state of mind, but it can also be used a form of meditation. Using Mindfulness Meditation allows you to focus on the moment, becoming aware of your senses and what you are feeling right then and there. When you are able to focus just on that particular moment, there is no need to try to interpret things or make judgments about how you feel.

You are simply present.

If you have ever studied Eckhart Tolle or other spiritual teachers, you realize that the present moment is all that actually exists. The past no longer exists, and the future has not yet come. So focusing, being mindful, of the moment, can help you relax and eliminate stress.

Think about all the time we spend planning for, or worrying about the future, thinking negative thoughts about the past, worrying about all the things we need to do - pick up the kids from school, make dinner tonight, pay the bills, etc. All those things are draining and can even be exhausting. When you are able to be mindful, you are able to put those things away, and focus your attention on the present moment, which reduces your stress and anxiety. Mindfulness meditation can be very powerful!

WHY SHOULD I MEDITATE?
For years, spiritual teachers and their students have been practicing meditation, and espousing its benefits. Now, thanks to advances in modern science and medicine, there are actually many clinical trials that scientifically back up these claims. It is amazing that for hundreds of years people have known that meditation works, but there is always a certain percentage of the population that needs to know how and why before they will believe it.

There are so many studies now that provide empirical data as to the how and why of meditation, and its effects on the body and brain. Those studies are so diverse that they need to be in a separate article on their own. But suffice to say that the overall evidence of these studies show that meditation is effective for reducing stress, anxiety, pain, depression, and even a host of "medical" conditions and disease.

WHEN AND HOW OFTEN SHOULD I MEDITATE?
There is probably no such thing as too much meditation, especially if you are struggling with any of the issues previously mentioned. Studies have shown that there are certain times of day when meditation may be more effective than others. Those times are when the brain is emitting certain waves that enable it to be more receptive to suggestion and meditation. Books have been written on that topic alone, but for our purposes, for most people that time is before you go to bed, or right when you wake up in the morning. During those times your brain is emitting the proper waves and producing the proper chemical to allow the mist benefits from meditation. But as Dr. Joe Dispenza says, "There is no such thing as a bad meditation."

The best way to develop your mindfulness meditation routine is to practice, practice, practice. Do so, and you may be truly amazed with the results.

If you want to live life to the fullest, then http://www.divineconnectionsbyroxy.com can help! Roxanna Teeling is a Relationship Coach specializing in individuals, couples, and relationship issues. She not only has two mental health master's degrees and two undergraduate mental health degrees, but she is also a Certified Relationship Coach from the Tony Robbins/Claire Madanes training institute. Roxanna strives to help you address and improve the concerns you have individually, with families or as a couple, by implementing techniques that fit your goals and values. Visit http://www.divineconnectionsbyroxy.com for more!

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How To Stop Delaying, Taking Action

Many people have the habit of delaying things indefinitely. They make plans and then lack the willpower to start working on them immediately. They think that they have indefinite amount of time on their hands. Soon, things change for the worse and they realize they are left with no option but to drop the plan. Most of us don't start working on a plan not because the time is not right but because we lack the willpower.

Many times we keep waiting for the right time to start a work and miss the opportunity in the process. If you hesitate some other person will come and grab the opportunity, and you will be left repenting your procrastination.

Make a to-do list

One way to stop procrastinating is to make a list of work to be done. It will help you make your mind about important work to be done. When you make a list of work to be done then your mind becomes clear and it becomes easy for you do to the work. It also makes it easy for you to prioritize your work.

Do difficult work first

When you have prepared a list of work to be done then you should start working on a difficult task first. Since tough work require more energy, work on that first so that when your energy level is down you have less difficult work to do.

Many times we keep postponing difficult work to a later stage and it makes us feel stressed. Don't do that.

Focus on end result

One way to stop procrastinating is to focus on the end result of your work. If you just focus on the number of tasks to be done then you will feel stressed. On the other hand, if you focus on the end result you will feel energized to do the work faster.

The human history is a witness that great events take place when people are moved by visualizing great results in their minds. Thinking about positive results will keep you motivated and will push you to take action.

Remove distractions

If you want to stop procrastinating then you should remove all kinds of distractions from your surroundings. Many times we are distracted by objects and useless tasks that take away our attention. It's bad for your work. If you want to do good work then you should focus on important tasks by removing your attention away from less important things.

KV Gautam is a business trainer based in New Delhi, India.

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How to Take Charge of Your Life - Jim Rohn Personal Development

Thoughts Are Machines

Mankind has invested in machines for many centuries. From the first labor-saving device to what has become artificial intelligence. The world is run by machines and we have given our power away to them. Proof of this statement is evident in the dependency of which we have on our computers and cell phones. Tied to these realities it is difficult to conceive of a world without them, particularly for the younger generations and the children who were born into this world with no recollection or experience of a life without cell phones.

All of these technological advancements, when stripped down to what it truly is, becomes a life-enhancement device. A vehicle for adding to one's life. Joined with other technologies, it creates a social environment of devices that are orchestrated by mankind. Men and women use these to project themselves onto the world stage. Albeit hiding behind these altered personalities. Who lives behind these realities?

Where I am going with this is the idea that this is the same manifestation that has been created by mankind in the beginning. Interesting idea, you ask? Consider the concept of thought and what that is as well as the role it has played in the overall evolution of the human race. We have recorded our thoughts in our minds and have transmitted them to each other through the vehicle of communication. Language passed from person to person froms a continuity of a dialogue that begun in ones own head as thoughts. Saved in the form of written books, the thoughts live for as long as the book does, often superseding the person who originated it. As time goes on, perhaps a face remains and a guess as to who the person was. His or her thoughts remain though.

Like a computer program these thoughts can travel the world, reaching all of its inhabitants. Well, not quite all. These are ones whom I want to focus on, for they are certainly in the minority. People who have not been caught up in the western world of the last fifty years at least are at an advantage if they choose to explore the potentiality. These individuals coming into the western world can make the juxtaposition of thoughts and the information age.

People are able to think faster than a computer does, but the tools of which he or she was taught to express the thinking is limited to its creator. Each word has an association and each association brings with it an image that creates a deeper association depending upon the person's history be it cultural, educational, religious, etc. These boxes, are connected and could be viewed as personal websites. Communication between two people could be seen as websites interacting with each other. As they do information is passed back and forth. Sometimes one challenges it and then it branches out into another website. All of it creating a complex dialogue of interconnected websites.

On the surface it may appear that thoughts and their expressions are unlimited but in truth, like the borders of a website, they are not. The parameters are there and if not seen for what they are then thoughts will forever be a machine that runs in your mind and entangles with your emotions and causes a third entity which given the tumultuous tendencies of emotions and mental entanglements either within oneself or with another person will cause disharmonies or disease within the body. The body is the resting place for thoughts. Consider that for a moment, and then thank your body, or apologize to it.

Machines play out programs, as I've said before. Thoughts play out programs too. What stops a machine? Who has the power to stop thoughts? There was something smarter that created the machine or the computer. There is something wiser that allows the thoughts to run amok in the mind.

By seeing thoughts as machines, you are afforded the opportunity to see them from the limited perspective that they truly have. People get lost in their thoughts because they do not understand their history nor their origin. By relabeling your thoughts into something other than what they are conventionally thought as allows for new light to be shone upon them.

At that moment you can ask yourself, do I want to set my cell phone aside and spend time with what is most important to me, or do I want to continue scanning through the social media page that I have been on for the past half hour? Are your thoughts any different? This is your choice; it is your limited time here. Choose how you spend it wisely. Be the master of your mind, not its slave.

I am a metaphysical author and spiritual healing facilitator. I have written 7 books and have performed countless sessions over the past decade. My website: http://www.josephmachney.com

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Train Your Brain To Make More Money - John Assaraf

Optimism and Thoughtlessness Are Not Synonyms

Ask people what optimism means and you will get a complete array of answers. From the 'glass half full' to 'seeing life through rose-tinted glasses,' or 'hopefulness about the future.' Optimism is one of those abstract and hard-to-define words that everybody thinks they understand. But what does it really mean?

These last few years, optimism has become a field of growing interest among experts, scientists and professionals. Authors like Professor Seligman and his 'relearned optimism' or the many studies proving the relationship between optimism and better health (like those by Julia Boehm and Laura Kubzansky, for example) indicate the level of interest there is for this topic. Many attempts have been made to clearly define this concept, but still different cultures and different fields of study explain it somehow differently, as culture also shapes the way in which the term is understood and interpreted.

Human beings are born optimists

When babies are born, they are always optimists. They expect the world to feed and care for them and for years wake up in the mornings believing that the new day will bring them happiness, adventure and fun. They face each moment like there is no other and enjoy it completely. A child plays and there's nothing else in the world but that game. The child will play the same game many times, and will not give up on it but persevere in the fun without questioning what comes next. Unless something deeply negative happens to alter that worldview, children remain deeply optimistic for quite a few of their first years, until their adults begin to chastise them for it and demand that they 'be more realistic,' or 'get their heads out of the clouds.'

Those same human beings then gradually start losing part of their optimism as life throws hurdles and problems at them and others recommend a less hopeful view on reality. They will start believing what others tell them and adapting their beliefs to their environment. Little by little, their natural optimism will dwindle and be replaced by a more somber worldview.

Lower levels of optimism result in poorer health and shorter life spans

Many of the studies carried out around the world have consistently proven that optimists live longer, happier and more rewarding lives. They've also been proven to be more resourceful and creative. There is an easy explanation to those results.

When pessimists face obstacles, they already believe that chances are they will fail, that things always go wrong, that they will not succeed. By the time they actually need to make the effort, they are so convinced of their failure that a) their effort is not absolute and b) they subconsciously sabotage themselves. As soon as they fail, then, they immediately tell themselves something like, 'see, I knew it was impossible.' That new failure thus reaffirms them once more.

Optimists, on the other hand, face obstacles believing that there always is a way to overcome them. They try to solve the situation one way. They might fail but that doesn't discourage them. They try another method and then another until they finally manage to overcome the problem and find a solution. They study their obstacles and ponder the different approaches to solving them. In their mind, there is no room for failure because they 'know' that they will succeed. Optimists never give up because they are convinced that there always is a way. By never giving up, then, optimists become more and more creative and start accumulating a great range of resources that make it easier to succeed at each attempt. That faith thus, results in them doing much more than pessimists and logically getting better results at the end.

All human beings are found somewhere between the two ends of this optimism-pessimism spectrum. Realism is just a way of describing those who are more in the middle of it. Realists, thus, have less resources than optimists but also fail less than pessimists.

Optimism is not thoughtlessness

Optimism, as just shown, is not just a matter of hope and expectations, but the conviction that good things will happen through a constant search for solutions. The true optimist is a hard-working, resourceful person who devotes a lot of energy and effort to reaching whatever goals are to be reached. A thoughtless person is not a true optimist because pursuing a goal without a plan barely ever leads to reaching it and optimists never give up. If one of the attempts to reach a goal is somehow thoughtless, it will likely fail, in which case the true optimist will think it over and formulate a new alternative, thus becoming the opposite of thoughtless. Thoughtlessness and optimism are therefore mutually exclusive in the longer run.

Optimism yields better results

As a result of the optimist's natural faith and hard-working habits, optimists become much better assets for companies and in general life. They push and drive, inspire and persevere. By not giving up, optimists become natural leaders and motivators.

Optimists rarely suffer from stress or burnout, either, as they don't worry but act. Stress and burnout stem from worry, from rumination and from fear, three attitudes that optimists naturally avoid by their own lookout on life. Consequently, optimists are less often sick or tense and end up developing a greater capacity to concentrate and focus on the task at hand.

Optimism can be recovered and relearned

As human beings grow up and live, society tries to instil a more sober view of life onto them as children and young people, thus slowly draining optimism from them. Without optimism, energy is low, motivation scarce and drive non-existent. That lack of optimism results in extreme personal and professional costs for families, companies and society as a whole. Fortunately, optimism can be relearned and developed. Like everything else in life, there isn't one formula-fits-all method for every human being. Optimism can be killed many different ways, and should therefore be reacquired by applying the right tools and methods, adapted to each person's needs and personal learning strategies.

Underlying subconscious beliefs can lead certain people to adopting a more pessimistic attitude in life. Fear is another trigger, as are pain, guilt or worry. A lot of professionals offer specific stress and burnout solutions to clients and patients but neglect to tackle the underlying problems that caused the original drain of energy and optimism. Only by solving and changing those will the human being truly recover that natural optimism that we are all born with.

If you wish to recover your drive, your motivation, your energy or if you want to help your team or your family to do the same, remember that each human being might have different reasons to feel the way they do and that specific tools and methods might be needed for each of them. Ask the professional you work with to present you with a detailed, personal plan for each person. If they fail to do that, look for a professional who does. Human beings are not robots and their complexity sometimes requires complex solutions. Those exist and can be used, believe me.

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

http://www.jessicajlockhart.com/en

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Zig Ziglar Setting Goals 1 of 3

Dr. Romance on How to Stretch Time

Dr. Romance writes:

Would you like to stretch time - to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do? Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach.

Self- Awareness:

As with all successful life skills, time stretching works better if you know yourself well. When you are aware of your priorities - for example, where do work, relationship, family and fun fall on "What's most important" list? Are you spending the most time on what is most important?

You will be more effective and less stressed if you learn to take charge of your personal and family time. Families need to sit down together and decide what activities are really worth doing, and what is just a "rat race." Learning to avoid "time sinks"(such as unnecessary e-mail, TV or people who talk too much on the phone) is crucial, because certain people and activities can absorb a lot of time and not be worth it. Becoming "time aware" is the best way to achieve balance.

If you're a parent, you need time off, too. This can be achieved through allowing children over seven to spend occasional nights at friends' homes, and then reciprocating. This allows both sets of parents a chance to be alone, to go out, to have a break. "Family networks" in which several families (related or not) share time, driving, trade of babysitting, etc. can really expand the amount of time off that each family enjoys.

The key is achieving balance between work/play, self/others, giving/receiving and time off/financial security. Achieving balance between work and the rest of your life is the key to avoiding burnout. You'll be much better at doing this if you are self-aware, think through your options, schedule in personal as well as work time, and learn to be flexible.

Sense of Purpose:

As you become more aware of your priorities, you may also discover a sense of purpose. Or, perhaps you already know what your sense of purpose is. However you arrive at it (and I've given instructions in both The Real 13th Step and It Ends With You, if you want more info) knowing what you want to do with your life saves amazing amounts of time. Once you know your purpose, many decisions are made in advance - it becomes a process of deciding which moves will bring you closer to your purpose, which won't, and that saves the time wasted in experimenting, waffling and being undecided.

Learning to be patient and remain calm also stretches time and relieves stress. Cultivating patience is really learning impulse control: Learn how to do "emotional maintenance" and shake off stress; How to quit when something is getting to you. It's an issue in self-control. To acquire patience, you must stop the impulse to quit, change your thinking/attitude, call a friend to get encouragement. People who do need to learn patience don't know how to tell they're being impulsive, or how to stop. They often have a sense of entitlement ("I just didn't want to wait" -- said with some pride) and a lack of emotional maturity. They're actually like emotional three-year-olds in adult bodies. To learn the necessary patience and determination to reach long-term goals, practice on small things first, and learn how to sort through what is worth exercising patience, and what is not.

For example, there are situations and people you have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to not take what they say the wrong way, or use a little more patience around them, because their personalities or styles are quite different from yours.

Perhaps you have run into people who test your patience at work, with friends, or among extended family. Sometimes people are difficult to handle because they remind us of other people we had problems with in the past, so we're attracted and frustrated at the same time. Others can be difficult for many people around them. Problems with a familiar type of person may not emerge until you're already bonded and involved as friends or partners.

The following exercise will help you step back and look at others as a source of information about yourself, view people from a different angle and use the very people who upset you as a reflection of the internal dynamics behind your struggles.

To let go of small things:

1: Perspective -- put them in perspective -- will it be important an hour from now -- fifteen minutes from now? Most of them won't be.

2. Self-understanding: If someone or something upsets you, don't exacerbate the problem by getting on your own case for reacting. Reactions are normal -- it's what we do with them that counts.

3: Rise above: If someone frightened you (a driver who cut you off) then give a little prayer of thanks that you survived, bless the other driver (who probably needs it) and you'll feel better.

4. Benefit of the doubt: If someone hurt your feelings, acknowledge that your feelings are hurt, then consider that the other person is probably more clumsy than intentionally hurtful. The world is full of emotional klutzes who don't realize the impact of their words and actions, and they create more problems for themselves than for you.

5. Consider the source: A neighbor or associate who is truly nasty may repeatedly hurt your feelings. Consider what must be going on inside that person's head, and be grateful that you're not hearing that. Even the meanest people are far nastier to themselves than they are to others. That person is trying to relieve his or her pain by inflicting some on you.

Thoughtful Action:

Acting thoughtfully rather than impulsively means that your actions are effective, and therefore more time saving.

Because time is valuable, learn to budget it the way you budget your money. In counseling my clients, I have found that putting yourself on a "time diet" works wonders. Be wary of "time sinks" -- TV, computers, e-mail, etc. and phone conversations with people who talk a lot to no purpose. Learn to say "no" to non-essential time wasters, so you can spend more time doing those things important to you. Knowing how to balance and to prioritize, cooperate and schedule your time so that everything will have a place is the key. Individuals and couples need to prioritize, cooperate and schedule their time so that everything will have a place. Becoming "time aware" is the best way to achieve balance. Achieving balance between work and the rest of your life is the key to avoiding burnout. You'll be much better at doing this if you are self-aware, think through your options, schedule in personal as well as work time, and learn to be flexible.

Sometimes, having duplicate tools and supplies saves time -- for example, having scissors, makeup, nail files, etc in several places in the house, so they're where you need them when you want them, or if you travel a lot, as I do, having your travel kit permanently available, with items you need, and keep it only for travel. I have a separate 'kit' for several activities: one for the gym, one for the pool, one for my music lessons, one for church choir. When I come home from a trip or a workout, I replenish the kit so it's ready for the next time. For example, when I come home from the pool, I take out the wet towels, put in dry ones - and I'm ready to go next time.

Playful Approach:

A playful approach may not specifically stretch time, but it does make you feel that the time spent is worth it. One way to enjoy the time you have, and feel more satisfied, is to remember that life is not supposed to be all seriousness -- to really feel that life is worth living, we all need to have some fun. Yes, fun. You remember fun! Pleasure, humor, leisure activities, and silliness are ways we recharge, renew our energy, restore our hope and positive outlook, and connect with others.

Fun does not depend on spending money or going to extremes. It does not depend on a particular setting, companion, or activity, and it doesn't have to take a lot of time.. Having fun is an internal process. You can have fun sitting still and thinking about interesting or enjoyable things, or working in your garden, petting the cat, talking quietly with one friend, or playing cards with a few. Singing, dancing, playing a sport and drawing a picture are fun pastimes for some people. If you're like me, playing with your brain is fun. Fun creates a deep internal connection, too. Through play we re-connect with our hearts, our childlike selves, and the intuitive, spontaneous part of our psyches.

For many people today (due, in part, no doubt, to the images of pleasure seen in the media), the definition of fun has been distorted. Some ideas of what is fun are connected with excess, such as having a couple of drinks or engaging in "extreme" sports. Some people think that to have fun, they must spend a lot of money traveling or dining out. Others think that to have fun, they must be around the "right kind of people". Saddest of all are those who rely on others to "create" their fun.

Most of us think of fun as something we do on special occasions, something that requires a bit of advance planning. We have whole industries dedicated to helping us play it seems as though a new theme park opens every week. But when you look back on your most joyous life experiences, they are more likely to have been spontaneous and simple rather than elaborate and expensive. Play is recreation -- that is activity that "re-creates" us, causes us to see life differently and be refreshed by the change.

You do not have to separate play and fun from anything else you're doing. A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Try laughter -- getting yourself a desk calendar with a new cartoon every day, sharing a joke you got via e-mail, telling a co-worker the cute thing your kid said (or listening to his story) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit movie -- will lower your blood pressure, calm your pulse and generally help you release a lot of stress.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the "Dr. Romance" blog, and the "Happiness Tips from Tina" email newsletter.

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Daily Habits of Successful People | Brian Tracy

To Improve The Quality Of Your Life, Focus On Getting Better

Personal Growth Is A Long And Arduous Journey

Do you want to improve your life? Are you committed to changing your conditions? Many people will answer yes to these questions, though it is my experience very few people are dedicated to improve their life. This is because the work is difficult, unending and filled with setbacks and disappointments. It is often lined with unpleasant emotions and digging up the past to heal and transform our wounds. But there is no other way than doing the difficult work of attending to our personal growth. It cannot happen overnight nor in thirty days, as many books espouse because this is only skimming the surface.

Everything taking place in your life right now, whether unwanted or not, is the accumulation of your thoughts and beliefs. This is empowering for many reasons least of which means you have the power to change your future by redirecting your thoughts. How you feel about this? Does it make you unhappy that your life's conditions result from everything you've ever thought? Whilst I understand you might feel this way, you may also see the power to create new circumstances for your life from this point forward. As I alluded to earlier, personal growth is a long and arduous journey with many setbacks and detours. Those who embark on this journey give up because of the difficulties they face.

I liken it to the Navy Seals BUD/S program where only 20 to 30% of candidates will graduate. The training is extreme and purposefully designed to weed out those not equipped to become Navy Seals. In some respects, personal growth is the same if you're not willing to do the work to improve your life. We cannot expect to do little work on ourselves and be awarded the riches of life, it just doesn't work that way. Read any biography on those who reached the pinnacle of success and you will learn about the struggles they endured. I'm reminded of the quote by the former American football player and coach Lou Holtz who said: "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." He was affirming that adversity builds character and contributes to our growth and development.

What Happens When The Going Gets Tough?

Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, avoid focusing on results but aim to get better instead. The goal is to build on your success while noting areas of improvement. For example, I wrote an article recently where I observed two people talking throughout an entire workshop I attended. Years ago, I would have been angered by their lack of courtesy and let them know about it. Think of those who talk throughout an entire film and ruin it for everyone else. However, I sat with my emotions and noted where I experienced the anger in my body. In the next instance, something unexpected happened. I felt compassion for these two people. I was overcome with a sense of peace and harmony because behind the anger was the realisation that only love exists. To reach this loving and peaceful state, we must first experience the anger, yet many people are quick to act on their emotions which prevents them from reaching love, compassion and inner peace.

Is this beginning to make sense, in that getting better should be our focus instead of wishing our lives were different? Are you willing to do the work no matter what it takes? Obviously you are invested in your personal growth because you are reading this article and maybe even sharing it with family and friends. But what happens when the going gets tough and you hit a hurdle in your personal growth? How do you react? Who do you become? I have encountered many setbacks over the past decade, yet I have experienced enormous growth during these times. Life will present us with the experiences needed for our personal growth when we least expect it. We can embrace the lessons or resist them, however they will continue to show up in a different form until we accept what is taking place.

So for now, I'd like you to give some thought to the areas of your life you want to improve. Write down in your journal/diary or on a piece of paper what you would like to improve about your life. Is it your finances, health, love life, career? Be very specific about what you want. Don't focus on what you don't want in your journaling. Second, what is required to change your circumstances? You might think you need to hire a life coach or invest in an expensive course but sometimes it is simpler than that. It may be as simple as not complaining for the next thirty days. It might require investigating your beliefs and forming new ones. The point is: everything you need to change your life is right at your fingertips. As you move through your personal development, the next resource will be made available to you. Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, stop focusing on results and direct your attention to enhancing the life you're living now.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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Oprah Winfrey's Life Advice Will Change Your Future | One of the Best Motivational Video Ever

When Your World Comes Crashing Down

Sometimes life hits us between the eyes and delivers an unexpected turn of events. The shock and resultant impact can make us question why it's happened. Have we been bad, is it karma, do we deserve this? The answer is often a resounding 'no'. It is what it is, nothing more or less than that. But, nonetheless, we have to deal with it and recover.

When our world comes crashing down others may not appreciate the magnitude of what we're going through or how what's happened has affected us. Consequently comments that are dismissive, superficial, maybe even offensive can come our way whilst we're struggling simply to get out of bed.

Even friends and family may not appreciate the distress we're going through, how those things are so devastating for us. When we miss out on being pregnant for another month and hear a cheery, 'you're young, you've plenty of time, there's always next month!' Or when they're blase about our beloved cat failing to return home and we hear comments like, 'you'll get another, it's only an animal', demonstrating no understanding of how much our beloved pet means, how they're such an important part of the family. Or even comments like, 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' when our latest relationship ends.

We can feel overwhelmed when we've invested so much of ourselves into something that fails to materialise or come to fruition. Grief and loss are often experienced at these difficult times in life. Even when we've had time to prepare ourselves for what's to come it can still be an earth-shattering loss. We may manage to maintain a stoic exterior, appear calm, unfazed and resilient, but inside or when we're on our own it's often a different story. Our world has come crashing down taking our future plans, hopes and dreams with it.

How can we cope when our world has come crashing down and we're experiencing such a sense of loss?

- Keep your own counsel. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Your feelings, challenges and situation is very different to theirs. Accept that others may not be as empathic or supportive as you'd like them to be, possibly through no fault of their own. It can be disappointing, tough to tolerate, but there's little we can do when they simply don't understand.

- Choose who you share your story with. Be cautious at randomly exposing too much of yourself and your feelings at such a vulnerable time. It's easy to absorb much of other people's comments, advice and input, but question, would they really do what they so freely advise you to do if they were in your shoes!

- Listening to others can bring its own stress, prompting us to make inappropriate decisions and choices. When they're being so 'supportive' we may feel it's good manners to listen and follow their advice. We may even regard them as an expert, feel compelled to trust their judgement, defer to their wisdom, be swayed to go along with the most persuasive argument or most popular point of view. Listening to others can provide insights and information, help us move our thoughts along, but at the end of the day it's your life. They're not as invested in the outcome as you are.

- Check your perspective, how are you feeling? Some days are more positive than others, those others we take everything personally. When you're aware of how much you can influence each situation you can be more in control of your responses.

- Consider therapy if you suspect you have long-standing unresolved issues. Getting help is a positive way to learn from what's happened, enabling you to pick yourself up and then move forward. And working with a neutral professional who's skilled at providing the right kind of support can be an important way of helping you turn the situation around.

- Acknowledge that loss and endings bring different stages of grief. You may well go through them all, some more than once. The stages can include denial, anger, depression, bargaining/negotiation until there comes an acceptance of where you're at. All can take time, with no limit on each individual case.

- There are many kinds of outside help if you're not looking for one-to-one therapy. Online forums and discussion groups can connect you with people with similar stories where you're able to share hints, tips or sometimes simply tears and company. Knowing you're not on your own can in itself provide reassurance and comfort.

- Take the focus away from yourself. Volunteer, share the lessons learned, your insights and sensitivity by giving time and being supportive of others. When you help others it often helps you too. You'll find some people will have had tough, fraught experiences, others may need to know there's company and support available. Get involved and recognise your own growth, strength and resilience.

Above all, appreciate that things take their own time but resolution will eventually come to pass.

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.

She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Susan_Leigh/399535

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9968636

Mel Robbins | One of the Best Talks Ever on Self-Motivation

Self-Motivation - Surprises Are Part of Our Lives

INTRODUCTION:

Self-Motivation is a very important activity in our day to day life as we don't know what surprise will come and at what time.

We have to motivate ourselves to ensure that the surprise is being handled appropriately and WE SHOULD NEVER GIVE UP. Even though the surprises are common to everyone lives and every one motivate them to handle their surprises and take it forward.

We have to motivate ourselves to ensure that the surprise is being handled efficiently and functionally. We attempt through our article, to share ancient ideas and techniques to walk you through this journey of life surprises.

Hence, we have to understand that some of the important surprises & techniques to self-motivate in handling the surprises.

GENERAL SURPRISES:

1) Financial Surprises: Generally, the companies or individuals will have a budget, unfortunately, the days may not go with the same budget planning. There may be a surprise in increase or decrease of the budget. This in turn, disturbs the financials. For projects in a company, the financial surprises can be corrected through appropriate contracts & claims management and for individuals it can be corrected through self-motivation techniques.

2) Health Surprises: Health issues may come up at any time which we cannot anticipate. We always should maintain discipline in our food habits, do daily exercises and drink appropriate water, which may avoid the health surprises.

SELF-MOTIVATION TECHNIQUES:

Any surprise or any issue can be corrected through self-motivation techniques as mentioned below:

1) Firstly, we should analyze in depth about the surprise or the issue. We have to make a note point on WHAT, HOW & WHY. By answering these simple three words we can understand the reason for the surprise or the issue.

a. WHAT: What happened?

b. HOW: How it happened? How it went wrong.

c. WHY: Why this happened? What are the corrections?

2) Secondly, doing meditation and thinking on the solution for the surprise or the issue. In this way, we can get the solution and go forward.

3) Once we answer the What, How & Why, and for corrections, we should do meditation by taking a deep breath and concentrating on the breath and thinking on the corrections.

4) We have to continue the meditation till we find out the solution. Depending on the surprise, sometimes, we will find the solution in 2 - 3 times and sometimes it may take days.

5) We should NEVER GIVE UP and we should continue the meditation till we get the solution and certainly we will get the solution through meditation for any issue/surprise/problem.

6) After having a solution, we have to make a clear roadmap for solving the surprise or issue with a contingency plan.

7) Finally, we should always follow another 3-word principle, Plan, Check and Act, this 3-word principle can ensure to resolve the surprise or issue.

CONCLUSION:

1) Generally, we face several problems in our day to day activities and we get panic or scared on an occurrence of such problems.

2) If we follow the techniques as mentioned above without getting panic or getting scared, we can easily resolve such problems by finding solutions and we can go forward in our lives and achieve success.

3) This article is to support the reader in addressing their problems/issues/surprises in an appropriate manner without getting panic or getting scared.

4) We request you to share this article after going through as this may help your friends to overcome their problems/issues/surprises.

5) All views or opinions or statements given in this Article are personal, which are in our knowledge/ information and do not signify any professional advice.

For more details logon to http://www.justacontract.com.

Handling the challenges in the appropriate manner. We know how to face the challenges, but, when the time of real challenge comes, we will be blank. Hence, get prepared by going through this Article which may help at the time of challenges.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Vijaya_Krishna_Boddu/2517547

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9888049

A STORY THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Tony Robbins Saves A Marriage - 8 Minutes