Tony Robbins: Hard Times, how to get through the toughest days.

Tips for Self-Care | Jack Canfield

Hit A Wall

Not again. I can't believe this is happening to me. Am I ever going to catch a break? I can't trust anyone.

Sometimes you just hit a wall. Other times you are making a choice to be a victim. It is your mindset that causes the murky waters. Yes, there will be times when life isn't fair. And I never wish to minimize anyone's suffering. But we need to ask ourselves if we are causing self imposed suffering? I think we all are guilty of this at some point in our lives. But so many have the "Not Again" attitude that is draining not only them, but everyone else around them.

I see this all too often in my practice. A new client comes in and tells me all the terrible things that are happening to them. I go into support mode and begin to line up some action items to stop the suffering. Over the course of a few months, no action items have been completed, let alone attempted. There is blame being cast at every person that is left in their life. And lastly, the slowly stop showing up for their appointments. It's hard to support someone who self identifies as being a life long victim.

Who Fills Your Success Plate?

I was thinking about the demands we place upon ourselves those others place on us. I noticed that some people have mountains of tasks before them and cheerfully and effectively plow through them without major disruptions to their lives. Others however find themselves overwhelmed and fall further and further behind in their lives.

What is the difference?

STOP searching for your passion and do this instead | Mel Robbins

START DOING THIS NOW!!! "I Assure You It Will Make You Rich"

Everything Happens For A Reason, Or, Does It?

I disagree with the concept that everything happens for a reason. I think that everything just happens and we give it meaning by our response to what happens.

The river flows with fresh water. We give it meaning by taking a bucket and collecting the water to drink, otherwise, if we let it flow without taking action, it becomes salt water when it reaches the ocean and becomes undrinkable. It no longer has meaning as the fresh water turns to salt.

Things are always just happening. We give it reason by how we respond to it and the manner in which we respond.

It is not a common thing for people to say that everything happens for a reason. That is because there are so many things happening every moment that we could give reason to, which could have tremendous value, but we ignore and just let blow by like a leaf in the wind.

Life has lost focus and value because we focus on only the big events, the emotional situations, the things that give us what we are looking for, or conversely, as an excuse to deal with problems or avoid doing unsavoury tasks.

We only say that things have a reason so that we can deal with a difficult, or accept a happy situation.

A Kabbalah saying is; 'Not even one leaf falls from a tree that does not have a spiritual significance.'

Sometimes You Just Gotta Get Off It

Have you ever gotten a whirlwind of negative thoughts about something important to you? Yeah, me too. What's even more disheartening is when you know you're doing it and you can't get your mind in a good place about the topic.

You start trying every trick you know to think positive about the subject. For example, if you're stressed out about getting clients, you may say to yourself, "Don't worry. The money will come. I'm a millionaire. I appreciate money."

Nothing happens. You're still stressed about money.

Next you watch a Byron Katie or Michael Beckwith video about money. That doesn't help either.

In coaching lingo, we call this process "being hooked." It's like having a hook through your mouth and being reeled into more negative thoughts. I experience this feeling as temporary insanity. I pray, "Can someone just take my brain away from me so I can relax for a moment?!"

You're so emotionally charged about the topic, there is only one thing left to do. Get off it! The topic, that is. Stop trying to get to the positive feelings until you feel better in general.

This requires a whole switch in your focus. In these moments, I usually go for something that will capture my attention fully. For instance, a walk would give me more time to think... and that can be dangerous.

What works better for me is to go answer some emails, watch Netflix, listen to an Abraham-Hicks CD, make an entry in my appreciation journal, or go shopping. You have to go for full-on distraction. This will create a softer focus on the topic you were scaring yourself about.

I like to remind myself that everything always works out, and this, too, shall pass. By the way, it is sooooooo okay that you got tripped up... or should I say "tripped out"? Happens to all of us. I consider myself a conscious thinker, and I can go down the emotional sewer as fast as the best of them!

When you soften your focus on a highly charged subject, you can actually open to receive the solution... or inspiration will hit with the perfect action to take. This is better known as the "allowing" mode. You have to create some breathing room for the Universe to do what it does best.

Things will always work out in the end. So just get off it and enjoy!

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Tips to Meditate Effectively and Focus Better

There are times in life when you feel not very positive about life, doubt your decisions and seem confused about future. For people who do not catch themselves in earlier times end up in long-term effects like anxiety, depression, back-pain and other physical issues. Guidance then takes longer to reach them and better living seems rubbish or impossible from their perspective.

Any negative thought or negative emotion is an indicator that you have lost your connection. The earlier you realize and reconnect, better it is for you. We all are connected to each other through consciousness/energy/God or any other name you wish to call it. This connection is important for the survival. Sometimes when we observe something or experience some kind of loss, the connection is thinned out for sometime and generally gets reconnected when things/thoughts/emotions change.

Meditation is one of the ways of reconnecting and making the connection stronger. When you are connected, you feel energized, enthusiastic for life, feel love for others and overall you are a positive person. You can understand others situation and are willing to help. More connected you stay better your personality becomes. Meditating every day is one of the best practices of successful people. But is meditation possible in this age?

Meditation can be as short as 2 minutes and can be longer than 2 hours. Given below are few tips that can be helpful.

How To Have Healthy Relationships

Most of the times we are surrounded by family, relatives and friends. If our relationship with them is not nice we have a recipe for unhappiness. Strained relationships can cause stress. If you are facing stress then you will not be able to focus on your goals. Sorting out differences with relatives and friends is important for making sure that we have no distractions on our path to success.

Our relationships with our spouses can define our happiness in life. In a country like India where divorce is still a taboo, finding a good life partner is very important. Once you get married to a person you are under pressure to maintain a good relationship with the person even if you dislike him or her.

Ego clashes are often reasons behind strained relationships. The reality is that it's not easy to keep your ego in check. If you want to be happy and satisfied in life then you should make some efforts to sort out your relationships with your spouse, family, relatives and friends. You can also learn to give proper personal space to people so that they are comfortable living with you.

You need to communicate frequently with people to avoid any kind of misunderstanding. Bitching about people should be avoided at all costs. It's a better strategy to just talk to the people if you have any issues with them, instead of gossiping behind their back.

There should be regular interaction for a healthy relationship. Many times we are short of time and neglect a relationship. Many relationships become emotional desert land after lack of communication for a long period of time. It's often seen that many relationships go sour simply because people don't interact much. Misunderstanding is also caused by lack of communications.

Many times people tell half-truths to others in an attempt to show themselves in a better light. It can damage a relationship. If you love bitching about a person in absence of him then you are inviting a trouble in the relationship. It will only damage your reputation. Backbiting and gossiping will erode trust of people in you. Don't talk negatively about a person, especially when he is not present there.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships. If you are used to telling lies to people then you will soon find it tough to tell more lies. You will end up finding yourself in a trouble as your lies will be exposed one day and you will lose face.

If you love a person you should not let ego come between you and the person. There is no space for ego in any good relationship. Many times there is a misunderstanding between you and a person, and you don't want to take the first step to clear the misunderstanding due to your ego. It will ultimately hurt and weaken your relationships.

If you have a serious issue with views of a person then you may agree to disagree to save the relationship. If you are not able to adjust to disagreements then it many cause a rift in the relationship. It's better if you just adjust a bit or avoid the topic. We humans are not alike. We all have our own preferences, like and dislikes. So, don't expect everyone to be like us. We should learn to respect our differences.

Many times we judge people and let others know what we feel about that person. It's not fair. To have good relationships with people don't be judgmental. You must accept people the way they are. After all you also want people to accept you the way you are.

No one is perfect. We all have merits and demerits. We should focus on good things in a person. We should ignore demerits, unless they're serious. I don't mean that we should accept a killer or a looter. All I mean is that we should forget and forgive small mistakes and drawbacks of people. We all humans are imperfect animals. We have bad habits like gossiping, passing judgement and backbiting. If we see others displaying these characteristics we should forgive them as these habits come natural to most people.

Many times relationships are damaged if you become too possessive. Learn to give a personal space to your friend, spouse or relatives. They are also humans and they deserve personal space the way we need it. Being possessive can be harmful for a relationship.

KV Gautam is a motivational speaker in New Delhi

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How To Stop Delaying, Taking Action

Many people have the habit of delaying things indefinitely. They make plans and then lack the willpower to start working on them immediately. They think that they have indefinite amount of time on their hands. Soon, things change for the worse and they realize they are left with no option but to drop the plan. Most of us don't start working on a plan not because the time is not right but because we lack the willpower.

Many times we keep waiting for the right time to start a work and miss the opportunity in the process. If you hesitate some other person will come and grab the opportunity, and you will be left repenting your procrastination.

Make a to-do list

One way to stop procrastinating is to make a list of work to be done. It will help you make your mind about important work to be done. When you make a list of work to be done then your mind becomes clear and it becomes easy for you do to the work. It also makes it easy for you to prioritize your work.

Do difficult work first

When you have prepared a list of work to be done then you should start working on a difficult task first. Since tough work require more energy, work on that first so that when your energy level is down you have less difficult work to do.

Many times we keep postponing difficult work to a later stage and it makes us feel stressed. Don't do that.

Focus on end result

One way to stop procrastinating is to focus on the end result of your work. If you just focus on the number of tasks to be done then you will feel stressed. On the other hand, if you focus on the end result you will feel energized to do the work faster.

The human history is a witness that great events take place when people are moved by visualizing great results in their minds. Thinking about positive results will keep you motivated and will push you to take action.

Remove distractions

If you want to stop procrastinating then you should remove all kinds of distractions from your surroundings. Many times we are distracted by objects and useless tasks that take away our attention. It's bad for your work. If you want to do good work then you should focus on important tasks by removing your attention away from less important things.

KV Gautam is a business trainer based in New Delhi, India.

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To Improve The Quality Of Your Life, Focus On Getting Better

Personal Growth Is A Long And Arduous Journey

Do you want to improve your life? Are you committed to changing your conditions? Many people will answer yes to these questions, though it is my experience very few people are dedicated to improve their life. This is because the work is difficult, unending and filled with setbacks and disappointments. It is often lined with unpleasant emotions and digging up the past to heal and transform our wounds. But there is no other way than doing the difficult work of attending to our personal growth. It cannot happen overnight nor in thirty days, as many books espouse because this is only skimming the surface.

Everything taking place in your life right now, whether unwanted or not, is the accumulation of your thoughts and beliefs. This is empowering for many reasons least of which means you have the power to change your future by redirecting your thoughts. How you feel about this? Does it make you unhappy that your life's conditions result from everything you've ever thought? Whilst I understand you might feel this way, you may also see the power to create new circumstances for your life from this point forward. As I alluded to earlier, personal growth is a long and arduous journey with many setbacks and detours. Those who embark on this journey give up because of the difficulties they face.

I liken it to the Navy Seals BUD/S program where only 20 to 30% of candidates will graduate. The training is extreme and purposefully designed to weed out those not equipped to become Navy Seals. In some respects, personal growth is the same if you're not willing to do the work to improve your life. We cannot expect to do little work on ourselves and be awarded the riches of life, it just doesn't work that way. Read any biography on those who reached the pinnacle of success and you will learn about the struggles they endured. I'm reminded of the quote by the former American football player and coach Lou Holtz who said: "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." He was affirming that adversity builds character and contributes to our growth and development.

What Happens When The Going Gets Tough?

Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, avoid focusing on results but aim to get better instead. The goal is to build on your success while noting areas of improvement. For example, I wrote an article recently where I observed two people talking throughout an entire workshop I attended. Years ago, I would have been angered by their lack of courtesy and let them know about it. Think of those who talk throughout an entire film and ruin it for everyone else. However, I sat with my emotions and noted where I experienced the anger in my body. In the next instance, something unexpected happened. I felt compassion for these two people. I was overcome with a sense of peace and harmony because behind the anger was the realisation that only love exists. To reach this loving and peaceful state, we must first experience the anger, yet many people are quick to act on their emotions which prevents them from reaching love, compassion and inner peace.

Is this beginning to make sense, in that getting better should be our focus instead of wishing our lives were different? Are you willing to do the work no matter what it takes? Obviously you are invested in your personal growth because you are reading this article and maybe even sharing it with family and friends. But what happens when the going gets tough and you hit a hurdle in your personal growth? How do you react? Who do you become? I have encountered many setbacks over the past decade, yet I have experienced enormous growth during these times. Life will present us with the experiences needed for our personal growth when we least expect it. We can embrace the lessons or resist them, however they will continue to show up in a different form until we accept what is taking place.

So for now, I'd like you to give some thought to the areas of your life you want to improve. Write down in your journal/diary or on a piece of paper what you would like to improve about your life. Is it your finances, health, love life, career? Be very specific about what you want. Don't focus on what you don't want in your journaling. Second, what is required to change your circumstances? You might think you need to hire a life coach or invest in an expensive course but sometimes it is simpler than that. It may be as simple as not complaining for the next thirty days. It might require investigating your beliefs and forming new ones. The point is: everything you need to change your life is right at your fingertips. As you move through your personal development, the next resource will be made available to you. Therefore, to improve the quality of your life, stop focusing on results and direct your attention to enhancing the life you're living now.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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